smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
