She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
