Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What a fucking waste of an outfit
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My ATM looks so different sober.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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