Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Say something about gay babies.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
