Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
