She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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