Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You were trust falling into bushes
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
