i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
