Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
