i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
