My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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