so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
