East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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