Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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