weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
