So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
