PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
