I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
