we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
