So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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