pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
