Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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