The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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