Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
