he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
