and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
