Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
