Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
