She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
