She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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