fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
