A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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