you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
