you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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