in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
