when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
