They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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