and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
