You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize