i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
