If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
