first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
