i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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