What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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