NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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