I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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