I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
