If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
