I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I smell like Dick and happiness
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