Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
