I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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