We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
