girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He better not be in your backpack
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
