Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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