we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
