I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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