i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
