i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
