So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
the raccoons are back...
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