I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
