Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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